A sad part 2

Sad, pathetic, unfortunate dream.
Such a shame this is even happening to me.
I wanted to cry and yet there isnt tears coming out.
I wanted to die but im just too young for that.
I wanted to slam the door as hard as i can but it clearly can never solve the problem im facing now.

Oh god, such a thing is really really new to me.
I never expect things to get this complicated, frankly i thought its all under control, little did i know, all of a sudden thing gets totally out of control, and im here, left all alone to clean up the mess i've done to myself, and to people around me. It may be just another common problem ppl tend to have in lives but maybe people just live with it and go along with it. But for me, no, i cant. I cant pretend as if everything will be ok and everything will be back to normal sooner or later. No its not normal this time... Im pretty much sure of it. In fact its getting trickier day by day. What have i done?

I've learnt my lesson but, i hope its not too late. I have a feeling, its really not going to be the same anymore this time. Thing changes every now and then, but once any sort of changes occur, u will never know how long it takes to return to normalcy. to heal. to be perfect once again.

Let it be? NO...
Fight for it? Should i?
I think im just plain evil...and this is clearly my punishment for being such a whatever.
Punish me. But let this be over. Dun let it be like some sort of sequel or stupid series that lasts forever. You know i cant take it, right? You know i cant. And if you're still not sure, im telling you now...