Disturbing thoughts.

I've been drowning in piles of CVS notes for today.
But drowning doesnt mean getting anything.
Nah of course i do hope what i've been revising so far can somehow stuck to my brain and not evaporate anytime soon, preferable last forever(But chances of them lasting forever are probably 0.0001%).
So what i've been trying to say is, at the very very least, i tried to be a good gal by trying to study efficiently for the whole of today.
I wish... i manage to improve my cvs from maybe cvs noob to cvs novice.
I wonder when my dream of becoming cvs pro comes true.
I wonder, as i said.

It is indeed disturbing to finally realise the fact that im such a technology dummy. I cant even make my blog appears more attractive.
I CANT.
I dont know how the hell do people change their templates, i dont know how they create fancy blogs that makes me drool, i dont know practically anything.
Feel like killing myself immediately.
I even feel like smashing my head to the wall after i spend 1 hour trying to work things out and yet it was a total failure.

I need more skills, motivation, determination.
Most of all, i need more time.

Time is ticking away and im still here, right at the beginning, and am getting nowhere.