MY ANGER IS GOING TO EXPLODE LIKE A VOLCANO AND I CANT STOP SWEARING.

GIVE ME A BREAK LAH F***ER

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Came across this :




WOW.

Cos it sounds familiar.

A saturday of no trouble and worries

Havent felt this way in a really long time.

Woke up this morning without the help of alarm clock.
Took a warm shower, walked to the lrt station, bought a ticket, hopped on the train and off i go.
Reached Mid Valley much sooner than i expected and i count myself lucky as both lrt and train came just in time.
Had a sumptious and satisfying brunch at Delifrance.
And i walked all over Mid Valley and entered every possible shops that can make me happy, tried on clothes i have no intention of buying, browsed through products that i dont normally pay attention to.
Grabbed more food that can last through the entire weekend.

All by myself.

Yes i went there all by myself.

There are times when all you need is the "me-time" with no one else around you so you can eat and do and buy whatever you want.

And honestly, i truly truly love this feeling.

And i really love having lots of snacks in my room so i can eat them while i watch my favourite movie/tv show.

Heh yes yes i've been snacking and trying to eat more lately just because 2-3 person told me i seem to lose some weight.

Sigh and i miss donut!!!!!
*In my dictionary, donut does not mean the donut donut. It actually refers to a special someone :)

Whoa life can never be better when you're rashes-free!!! :)

Do people always get emotional when they're unwell?

I am unwell.
I am sick.
And i am feeling really lousy at the moment.

I understand that there is absolutely no fairytale in real life where everything is perfect.
But even so, i do not think it is fair for my life to be so not perfect.

I pray pray and pray hoping that maybe there's still hope for me to go overseas but somehow i dont think this is happening.
Just fine ok.
But now, i am just hoping with all my heart for me to be healthy and can lead a life that all of my friends are having right now.
Why is it so hard to just grant me this wish?
Why do i have to have this bouts of fever and pain, worries of suspected dengue, and why do i have these rashes coming out that are so itchy i cant think straight?
And my family is not here with me.
Best friends not here with me.
And im left all alone to deal with my miserable life.

Its really not easy to be me.

Sick and well

Since the last emo/angst post until now, there're just a few more lectures, and whole lots of clinical sessions of which i missed/skipped thrice this week!! And this wont happen if i am healthy and not to come down with some sort of mystery infection for so many days that cost me cash and energy and time and worries. Cis.

Its just funny how everytime when im feeling great and healthy i feel like its something so natural i always never fail to take it for granted.
Not until my immune system suddenly go off-balance and then i realise how hard it is and how much i hope for my health to be back.

And well, i started playing volleyball again. Its good to play, just that right now, majority are juniors that i've hardly seen before. IMU Cup starting next week.
Not that i am so enthusiastic to join so many events this time, its only if i dont join any, my life in vista will be zzzzz.

Call me paranoid.
But i really dont like the kind of look i get from all these people around me.

"Eh u not PDS meh?"
"How come you are here wan?"
"You came this morning for lecture??"

I've been trying to think so positively, and i explained my situation to every single one who asked such questions.

But someone told me right to my face "If like this then why you applied for PDS option in the first place?"

I didnt know how to answer.

I continued my work.

And i came home to cry.

It is not my fault that i cant go.

I really do feel sorry for myself for not being able to.

I am sorry i took up that one precious space that could have been taken by others who deserve the space more than i am.

I am sorry for everything.

I just wish people can be nicer to me and understand the pain i have for having to stay.

:(

Sem6!

And so, Sem 6 begins!

I am going to work hard this time so i wont feel so bad about staying in IMU :D
I know "work hard" appears in my post at the beginning of every semester but it never seems to materialized but somehow i just feel better posting it again and again!

Owhhh :(((
I dont know how the rest of the local students' reaction will be when they see me later.
Please dont discriminate me!!

S-I-G-H